I haven’t written anything in a while. It’s just been hard. I hadn’t felt inspired and I run on inspiration. I used to condescend that part of my nature but a lot has grown in me over the past year to come to a place of self-acceptance.
Fearfully and wonderfully made…
-Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
Jeremiah, I am your Creator… Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work.
– Jeremiah 1:5 ( CEV & NCV )
Sometimes, the aspects of yourself you wish you could “grow out of” are the parts God took extra time fitting into your soul. And (S)he did that because (S)he wanted a Buki that would only create when she was truly inspired, not when money came knocking or when people pressured her.
Sometimes, certain parts of us are off-beat or parts of us are uninteresting to soceity because they can’t easily be monetized. But our idiosyncrasies empower us to bring something to the world no one ever has or ever will. Me sitting in my chair, at this geolocation, at 7:45pm, in Nigeria, writing this post is a feeling only I will ever understand.
For some reason, the careful balance of interests, perspectives, mental strengths and experiences that all come together in this sack of flesh I call my body… For some reason, that matters.
And rather than trying so hard to be much more practical like [x person] or much more stern like [y person], perhaps I should take this sack of flesh out for a test drive and see what it can do//how far it can go.
What is your gift? What is your interest? What is that annoying thing you wish you could change about yourself that honestly isn’t sinful (just inconvenient sometimes)?
To erase yourself, to erase your hair, you heart, your skin, your mouth, your experience, the truth you have seen, is to deprive the world of something that God thought it was worthwhile to add to it.
Be unapologetically yourself and do it with love, humility and strength.
As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.
-Matthew 4:18-20 NIV
Do you see what Jesus did there? He didn’t change who they were. Same men, same abilities…different goals. He essentially said: the dream you carry in your hands is too small. Let me show you all you were made to be.
So follow Him into the grand abyss and if death comes, you will have lived a life where you were truly the best version possible of yourself. And perhaps where you thought you would fall away in obscurity, head bowed in shame because you are “a sinful man,” (Luke 5:8) (S)he will take your hand and (S)he will mold you into someone whose letters the world will read and study 2000 years after you are gone.
Be exactly who God created you to be. It is the most beautiful, effortless version of yourself.